Relationships: A place where God makes the biggest difference.
Posted by The Skyliner on November 4th, 2009Candice Paschall
Staff Writer
Relationships surround each of us on a daily basis, from our relationship with God to the friendships we have and the relationship we may have with a significant other.
In recent chapel services, the speakers have brought up issues relating to the different relationships we engage in. Those messages that stuck out the most to me were the ones that I could relate to my relationship with my boyfriend.
Each sermon that was about boyfriend/girlfriend relationships stressed the importance of putting God at the forefront of the relationship. In the nine months that I have been dating my boyfriend, I have found that this is the single most important aspect that makes a dating relationship work.
Before my boyfriend and I started dating, we were friends for about four months. Throughout those months, I really wanted to date him, but he kept telling me over and over that he wanted to make sure he had a strong relationship with God before he got into a relationship with me. I respected it, but couldn’t really apply it to myself.
What I didn’t know, though, was that I, too, needed to work on my relationship with God first as well. Before Christians get into a dating relationship, they should first evaluate their relationship with God. If God is not at the center of one’s life, then the person they are getting into the relationship with will quickly become the main focus, rather than God.
When we finally did begin dating, we both made sure our priorities were straight. This included setting clear boundaries and also making sure we were dating for the right reason.
I went into it not wanting to date for the heck of it, but instead because I was interested in finding a future husband. I have seen many friends, both guys and girls; play the “dating game” and each time it only leads to pain and heartache.
A wise friend of mine, Michael Harmon, a sophomore at Erskine College, once told me, “…God calls us to purity, and with each person you date, you lose a certain amount of that purity. It doesn’t matter how much, but you lose some.”
Along with this aspect of purity obviously comes physical purity. Besides keeping God at the center of your relationship, this is probably the most difficult part of a Christian dating relationship. Along with setting boundaries, couples should keep from putting themselves in possibly compromising situations. Each person should make sure their relationship with God stays in the right place and that God remains at the center of the relationship.
At the beginning of our relationship, my boyfriend and I didn’t really seek God together, but now we have made prayer and reading the Bible an integral part of our relationship.
Even when my boyfriend brings me flowers or we spend the entire day together, I never feel closer to him than when we are seeking God together. When couples do this, they are literally honoring God with their relationship. A dating relationship shouldn’t be about emotions or being in love, but rather it should be focused completely on God.
Obviously, all I have stated is easier said than done and is gradual. My boyfriend and I definitely have our problems, struggles, and temptations, but since we have God as our foundation, we believe that we have the right basis for a relationship.
As long as we keep seeking God and keep dating for the right reasons, I believe our relationship will continue to prosper and grow. Relationships aren’t easy and will never be perfect, but they can prosper when couples are dating for the right reasons while seeking and honoring God.
Tags: Fall 2009, Vol. 109 - Issue 8