Faith, friendship and principles of choosing and keeping
Posted by The Skyliner on April 7th, 2010Jordan Ecarma
Copy Editor
“Remember no man is a failure who has friends.” This line concludes the Capra-directed classic film It’s a Wonderful Life and is a principle that can be brought to our own lives. We all tend to measure our success by how we touch the lives of our friends and vice versa. But what happens when a friend turns out to be wrong for us? As Christians who should be imitators of Christ, what should we do?
Christians should bear the fruit of the Spirit in their lives, some pieces being love and patience, but at the same time they should be cautious when choosing and keeping friends. If a friend is no longer acting like one, it may be time to end that friendship. Christians can look in the Bible to know this to be right. There are many verses about the importance of choosing wisely when it comes to friends, as well as examples of how real friends should act.
Proverbs 13:20 warns, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 17:19 says, “He who loves a quarrel loves sin . . .” while, in contrast, Proverbs 17:17 states that “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
A person’s character truly comes out in dealing with friendship. Whether or not people have godly characteristics like loyalty and patience will be seen through the way they treat their friends.
Christians should have the best idea of what a friend is. God has given many directives in His Word to glorify Him through our lives. One example is 1 Corinthians 10:31, which says, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” This command covers every part of the Christian’s life, including friendship.
Christians should be longsuffering and forgiving, but they should also realize that real friendship is reciprocal, with both people giving and receiving. Keeping unhealthy relationships with disloyal friends will not help to further their walk with God. Without bearing enmity towards them, it is best to create some distance.
As Ken Freeman said in one of his talks during NGU’s recent Christian Worldview Week, the people closest to you should be Christians, because they will have the most influence over you.
The people we spend the most time with impact who we are and who we become. Surround yourself with godly, loyal people if you want to be one. Following this principle may translate to fewer friends, but they will be ones of quality and character.
Remember also to not be discouraged by bad experiences.
Romans 5:3-4 encourages us: “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” God works out His purpose in every aspect of our lives, including friendships, and He will provide. Reflect also on the warning in Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” Look closely at your friendships and consider how you are being sharpened.
Tags: Spring 2010, Vol. 110 - Issue 10